Black hole coloring book
    Only one crayon needed.
    Don't need to stay within lines.
    Great for learning handicapped.

Parachute
    Only used once, never opened, small stain.

False book jackets
    To slip over a novel in public places:
    Example: while waiting for your car: How to Win Lawsuits Against Your Car Mechanic

Bag-lady racquetball racquet

Corduroy fork

Chocolate covered hard-boiled egg on a stick